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You are here: Home / All About Editing / Show, Don’t Tell

Show, Don’t Tell

Kit Carstairs · September 4, 2018 · 6 Comments

If you’ve ever received an appraisal from The Manuscript Agency, in all likelihood we would’ve talked about ‘showing, not telling’ at some point in the report. It’s not because we like repeating ourselves, or regurgitating information to make our lives easier – it’s because TELLING, rather than SHOWING, plagues 99% of writers. And it makes a real difference to the quality of your writing.

The definition of SHOWING, NOT TELLING (SNT from hereon):

Showing, rather than telling, allows the reader to experience the story through actions, words, thoughts, senses and feelings, rather than through the narrator’s (read: author’s) interference in the narrative via exposition (‘info dumps’) and narrational commenting. Showing is a method of trusting the reader to decipher the text for the ‘right’ information that will lead them to an understanding of character, setting, narrative developments, important historical elements etc.

Here’s a quick example of telling the reader what you want them to know:

Mr Jones was a fat, ungrateful old man with a tendency towards rudeness. He uses his walking cane to thump the ground, as a way of letting his assistant know that he’s rather unhappy with her, again.

This tells the reader exactly what you want them to know, and it disseminates the information quickly and effectively. But does it make you feel anything?

Here’s the same ‘scene’ where the writer shows the reader Mr Jones:

Mr Jones heaves himself out of his worn, leather chair, using his old oak desk to steady himself as he reaches across for his walking cane. He takes a moment to adjust his balance under his heavy frame, spreading his legs and wobbling in the direction of his assistant’s desk outside his door. His arthritic knees pop and crack their objection under his weight. Pounding the floor with his walking cane, he spits out curses under his breath. ‘Where is that dreadful girl?’ he thinks to himself.

This creates an image, a scene, in the reader’s mind – it invites them to use their imagination and draws them into the narrative. It gives us a strong sense of this character through his physicality. We found out:

  • his name;
  • that he is overweight through describing him ‘heaving up’ and his ‘heavy’ frame.
    We also see his knees crack and pop under his weight;
  • we discovered that he is, potentially, old because he had arthritic limbs and
    walks with a cane, and that he heaves himself up;
  • and that there is an element of impatience in his character through his thoughts
    about the girl;
  • we also get a sense of place: he is in an office (and that this office is not
    a typical fluorescent-lit office – he has an old leather chair and an oak desk).

Of course, you don’t want to spend too long on each and every piece of information, but if information can be released within the action, dialogue etc then it makes that information appear seamless. It gives no more weight to it than is necessary, but it quietly informs the reader of bits of information that ground them in the narrative, give them an understanding of the setting, and helps them to get to know the character in a natural way.

Simply telling the reader what is happening (or what has happened) has the effect of holding the reader at arm’s length – never really allowing them to be a part of the journey or get to know the characters on their own terms.

Telling (when overused, it obviously has a place in some aspects of your writing) is a lazy way of writing, and often encourages the writer to skip whole chunks of narrative development in favour of simply telling the reader what is happening. It also shows a lack of trust in your reader (and perhaps your own writing ability) that they will understand what is going on in the narrative if you are not explicitly telling them what is happening.

You want the reader to ‘see’ the action, to create the world in their own imagination
– this way the narrative becomes theirs also. They are more likely to keep reading
because they feel more engaged with the journey the characters are taking.

Have you ever heard the saying ‘actions speak louder than words’?
Telling someone you love them only goes so far, showing them that you love them through the little (and big) things you do consistently shows them that they are loved.

I think I’ve pushed this point far enough now 🙂
If you want more information on SNT, simply comment below and I will be sure to respond, or email me: kit@manuscriptagency.com.au .

Filed Under: All About Editing, Guide To Writing, Self Publishing

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Emma says

    September 5, 2018 at 5:25 am

    Hi Kit,

    I’m intrigued. I want more of this!

    My writer’s block was not present as I read the above. It was fantastic!

    Reply
    • Kit Carstairs says

      September 5, 2018 at 11:10 pm

      Great to hear, Emma. Please let me know if there is anything specific you would like more of, and I’d be happy to help 🙂

      Reply
  2. Luke says

    May 17, 2019 at 6:19 am

    Hello,
    Fascinating article. I think this will help me greatly in my writing.

    However, surely you meant the reverse of “SNT is a lazy way of writing, …”
    SNT is what you are here promoting. Telling is the lazy way out.

    Or have I read that wrong?
    -Luke

    Reply
    • Kit Carstairs says

      May 27, 2019 at 11:56 pm

      Hello Luke,
      Thank you for that pick-up – it seems I need a good editor…know anyone? 😉 You are absolutely correct and I’ve amended the text to reflect what I actually meant 🙂
      Glad you enjoyed the article.
      Cheers,
      Kit

      Reply
  3. Lloyd Christopher says

    May 22, 2019 at 5:02 am

    I have to say that I disagree with your view. The first sample text is far superior. the second example was verbose, perhaps because there were too many double adjectives. Surely, there are times when you want to tell and times when you want to show. Unless you want a 700 page book, there has to be quite a bit of telling.

    Reply
    • Kit Carstairs says

      May 28, 2019 at 12:50 am

      Dear Lloyd,
      In the example provided you might be right, there might be too much showing where telling would work. But in many cases where an author tells the reader everything it can be tiresome and uninteresting for the reader. The article does not suggest that you seek to show absolutely everything, but where possible it is more effective to show the reader something rather than simply tell them. Obviously a manuscript needs both elements to be balanced, and keep the narrative moving at a good pace. It also depends on the genre you are writing in, there are times where the reader just wants to be given the information so they can keep moving along in the plot. But there are ways of leaking information to the reader within the overall narrative that allow the reader to absorb information rather than being told it – this doesn’t need to be done in a long, drawn-out way. Showing the reader something and not telling them something directly shows your ability to craft a narrative and take your reader on a journey. The article does not suggest that you can never use ‘telling’, but that it should be used appropriately – not to truncate the narrative and make it easier for the author to tell the story.
      Thanks for your message 🙂
      Kit

      Reply

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